Zombie Nation

♦ I don’t have a zombie fetish. Gosh, that’s a sentence I should probably never have to write, isn’t it? But with my recent drawing of a sexy pin-up zombie that I showed you and the fact that I’ve written a story in an anthology of zombie erotica, you might be forgiven for thinking that I’ve an infatuation with the Infected.

And, OK, you’ve got me, I like zombies a lot. Just not like that.

I tried to fathom the sexy aspects of the living dead when I was brainstorming ideas for the aforementioned zombie-porn story. I came up with a few little titbits I could cling to as erotic features of a zombie – their feral side, their untiring nature, their relentlessness – but ultimately I couldn’t really find them a personal turn-on, even if I thought about it. I resolved to include actual sex with an actual zombie (though mine is infected rather than undead) in my story nonetheless, for the sheer challenge.

Why am I reiterating my strictly-platonic-and-nothing-else interest to zombies now? Well, I just feel like you should know I don’t get off on risen-again corpses before you see my Toy With Me Tuesday this week…


I have loved the Fleshlight Freaks range of dildos (and male masturbators, penis owners!) since I first saw them. One day, I think I’ll write an entire post on them in ode to how fucking great they are, but I’ll sum it up here: they’re so well made, so detailed, so not pink and so goddamn unusual! It’s so bloody unusual to see horror and pop culture brought into women’s sex toys (I think less so for men’s, but I may be wrong). It’s so great to see something beautifully grotesque and truly different as opposed to childish or cutesy-poo or inoffensive or sleek or glam or “feminine”.

I knew I had to get myself one if I could, so when my zombie story actually got published in Hungry for Love, I treated myself to a Fleshlights Freaks Zombie cock in self-congratulation. The risk was zombies and the reward was zombies.

And look at it. Isn’t it absolutely gorgeous? It’s so fantastic and that’s before you even put it in you.

I figured I’d take a couple of photos of my new zombie cock and pretty much the rest of my zombie paraphernalia. In these shots you can see the Fleshlights Freaks Zombie dildo itself, a Left4Dead poster (for the No Mercy level, I have the Death Toll poster too but a friend pinched the other two. I bloody love L4D and L4D2), the Coming Together: Hungry for Love zombie anthology mentioned above, the novel World War Z, a non-fiction book called Zombies: A Field Guide to the Living Dead(which I picked up in researching – ultimately unused – ideas for my story), my zombie heart ring from Bete Noire Jewellery and my Zombie Gone necklace from Shottle Bop.

I went for a bit of a garish, B-movie feel to the colouring of the photos and added some grain and video-lines to make it more schlocky and zombtastic. Oh, and the title references this song. So, what do you reckon to my new bit of dead dick? ♦