Review: Tracey Cox Remote Control Vibrator Love Egg

Tracey Cox Remote Control Vibrator Love Egg

Let me say first of all that when someone invents a vibrating egg that can truly get me to orgasm I will construct a sanctuary, tattoo his name on my forehead and worship his creator with the vigor of a thousand religious nut-balls. From my point of view, these aren’t intended with that objective in mind (if they’re oh-boy then they’re miserably failing), as far as I can tell they’re a toy intended to’ tease’–the starter in front of your main, the ticket in front of the gig… basically an orgasmless’ foreplay.’ Hmm.

Tracey Cox Remote Control Vibrator Love Egg
Tracey Cox Remote Control Vibrator Love Egg

I have long abandoned my search for a vibrating egg that does nothing more than a pathetic buzz inside of me as it holds an exhausted, half-dead bee inside its shell. The Tracey Cox Love Egg is NOT an exception to the hoard I’ve attempted–it’s the rule and I’m here to inform you all about it.

Now this is the least shitty of the variety of battery-powered eggs I’ve attempted so far, but also one of the most costly at nearly 40 quid. It’s design is both fantastically’ non-girly’ in the marketing sense (I’m extremely happy that it’s not pink for the record YES, covered in butterflies or shaped like a core of love) and yet it’s strangely wrong with me. It looks like a car gadget with its black plastic and chrome-y bling and I don’t really want to stick it in my vagina.

It requires three batteries; in the egg two N batteries and in the distant one 23A. What makes the battery-powered part even worse is that it’s not the kind of batteries you’re likely to lie around the house! The remote back slides are simple to open and the egg twists apart.

The egg is a fairly fundamental shape that does not have a true taper to help insert and is an average size for a 4.5′′ circumference vibrating egg. It’s made of plastic and around it there’s a chrome band that I’m uncomfortable placing in me. The egg also has a’ recovery cord,’ which I think also operates as a transmitter, it seems to be wrapped in plastic wire… Sexy.

This egg is not the easiest thing to insert and is best done with ample lube. I’d rather have a slightly slimmer design with a bigger taper. Once in, there’s totally no concern about it dropping out–it’s a big but lightweight bonus.

Press the[ on / off] button to connect the remote and the egg should start to buzz–this may take a couple of tries. Then you can use the other key[ 7] to flip through the seven settings and discover three’ ordinary’ speeds and four patterns. The first thing you’re likely to notice is that the vibrations are completely lame, they’re not soft per say, but they’re surface level and buzzy, it’s a kind of vibration that’s not going well at all.

The range on this toy is fairly impressive, likely one of the finest, although it still seems to listen to the remote up to about 3 meters away reliably when inserted. The egg isn’t silent whispering which I believe is really a requirement for a toy like this to be discreet. You’d have to go somewhere with a lot of background noise like a busy bar or a gig if you wanted to wear it out.

There’s a certain amount of fun to have with a remote like this, it’s still interesting to have a individual capable of stimulating your genitals from across a crowded space while you’re fully clothed, I just want that stimulus to somehow translate into enjoyment. When I’m all bound up and spanked, tortured and denied orgasm, we’ve used it, it’s almost a penalty in itself–as I want it so badly inside me, but all he’ll let me do is the occasional buzz between spanks.

Cleaning the egg is not as easy as it seems, vag gunk may get inside the gap where the egg screws together and you may need to be cautious when washing this portion. The place where the wire / retrevial cord meets the egg also has gunk harbors and is hard to wash. Do not leave the batteries in it when it comes to storing the egg as it is able to drain a fresh set of batteries overnight.

What I enjoyed getting out of this egg was more about us being extremely creative, kinky and in each other than the egg itself, any other fundamental egg would likely attain this amount of pleasure for us. It will never be a favorite toy, it won’t be the thing I’m looking at and saying isn’t it just lovely? Doesn’t it just make you want your oraphices to shove it all up? It’s not a toy after which I’m going to use it frequently or hanker. I’m never going to use this solo toy. With a bit of job, kink play / exhibitionism can be an enhancer, but it’s not really a wonderful toy in its own right.

If I managed to convince you somehow that you need this toy (stranger stuff has happened), you can buy it here for £ 39.99.

Mini-rant alert! – Why oh why must we call it a love egg? I feel like my vagina is about to hatch a care-bear or something. Just stop with this shit already, sex toys and love don’t need to be synonymousbecause sex and love are not synonymous!