Disclaimer: I was provided with a free PicoBong Moka by SexToysUK in exchange for my honest review. YMMV. Click any image to embiggen.
♦ The PicoBong Moka, whose name I cannot say with a straight face, sold by SexToysUK, is a G-spot vibrator (or G-Vibe, if you’re PicoBong, but we’re not letting them say words ever since “C-Spot”) that can also be used on the clitoris. I heard awful things about the first generation of toys from PicoBong and then grudgingly improved reviews for the second set, which includes the Moka, so I was very interested to see for myself if this toy would be any good.
The neon pink Moka comes in a neon pink cardboard box with a clear plastic window that shows the toy and lists its key features (waterproof, 2 x AAA battery, near silent, body safe silicone, 12 powerful modes). Inside, the toy sits upright with a warranty booklet. Sadly, the packaging is kinda flimsy and mine is already torn and a bit squashed.
But wait, I’ve missed something from the contents of the Moka box! Let’s talk about the stupid charm thing! The first generation of PicoBong toys came with a pink d6 (or six-sided dice, as you normal folk call them) that had a PicoBong toy on each face. This die was almost universally ridiculed. But you know what? I call no fair! I collect dice! I want a weird, virtually unusable die because half my (by now outrageously pricy) dice collection is weird, virtually unusable dice! You know what I don’t need? A stupid charm thing. But a stupid charm thing is what I get. Sigh.
Do you know what this stupid rubber phone charm thing mostly reminds me of? 14-year-old girls. Do you know what I do NOT want to reminded of when I wank? Camel spiders. But also 14-year-old girls.
The PicoBong Moka is a firmly curved toy with a nice, rounded handle and a classic flat head for the G-spot. It’s made of a silicone which is very silky and smooth to the touch with absolutely no drag and is also, naturally, non-porous, sterilisable (just remember you can’t boil a vibrator), shareable and body-safe. It is also waterproof, apparently up to one metre but I didn’t test that, which makes it easy to clean. The silicone covers a hard body with no give or flex and the battery cap area at the end is made of ABS plastic.
Moka is 8.5″ long, 6.5″ of which is insertable. The shaft of the vibrator is 1.4″ at its widest and 1″ at the thin neck and it ends in a flat elliptical head measuring 1.5″ by 2″. Shape-wise, PicoBong have quite clearly nicked the idea from their parent company LELO, which you can see in the GiGi and Ella. The PicoBong Moka comes in neon pink (which I have), sky blue or lilac and takes two AAA batteries (not supplied) inserted into the base of the toy under a twist-cap.
The functions of the Moka are really easy to use. To turn it on you press the + button and you press that again to cycle up through the toy’s seven speeds. To decrease the strength of vibrations you press the – button and when the Moka is at the lowest speed, this also turns the toy off. What’s great is that you don’t have to tap the button repeatedly to do this, you can merely hold down the + or – buttons to whizz up and down through the speeds and the toy will again turn off once past the lowest speed. The 12 vibration patterns are accessed by pressing the M button and you can use these with any of the speeds. You do seem to have to press the buttons very decisively, though, to get it to change modes, which can be a bit annoying.
The vibrations on the Moka increase gradually as you press down the + button, without really seeming to have distinct speed settings. At its lowest speed, I often assume I’ve actually turned the toy off when I haven’t as it really is the barest of flickers, sure to please anyone who likes to start very gently before building up. At the highest speed I actually find the Moka very solid, which was a surprise given the complaints about the lack of power on PicoBong’s first generation of toys. Not the strongest ever, but definitely enough to satisfy me and strong enough that the Moka can hold its head high. The vibrations are not quite rumbly (but not super buzzy either) and yet they actually manage to go pretty deep and are far more than surface-level. All in all, I really liked the vibrations from the Moka, though I think stronger vibrations would probably be useful for using the toy internally as it’s intended. They work, but stronger there is pretty much always better. I’d give the strength and style of vibrations an A- externally and a B+ internally.
There’s an impressive number and variety of patterns on the Moka too, 12 in total, although one of those is the usual steady vibration. The patterns are nicely different, including some ones I’ve never experienced before. The strangest of the patterns is definitely what PicoBong calls “Bumper Cars” and is basically a mix of random speeds and durations. Patterns aren’t exactly my bag, but I actually found most of the patterns to be pretty fun and arousing. I’ve taken a video of the patterns below, but I’m not entirely certain how helpful it is. The reason? The Moka is such a quiet toy and it’s actually really hard to hear the vibrations. If you like discretion in your toys, this may suit you. It’s definitely one of best strength-to-quietness ratios I’ve encountered.
The Moka is designed as a G-spot vibrator, but can be used just as well on the clitoris. For internal use, the flat head of the vibrator rubs the G-spot and the curve angles it in nicely. I find that it hits my G-spot really easily without really any effort on my part. I just insert it and bam, G-spot. All it takes then is a little gentle thrusting. The rigidity of the toy means that it puts enough pressure on my G-spot, but I think it’s really the angle of the curve and the shape of the head that are key.
I have a LELO Ella, which is great, and the Ella and Moka seem identical in shape; the only difference is that the Moka is a little bigger than the Ella. It’s probably safe to say that if you love the Ella, you’ll enjoy the shape of the Moka and the only issue you really might have is in terms of material (Ella: firm but flexible, Moka: rigid, unyielding).
For external use, the Moka is also great. The flat head is very useful for broad stimulation and you can use the tip of the ellipse for more pinpoint focus. What’s more, the rigidity of the design means you can apply plenty of pressure, which is definitely my kind of thing.
The PicoBong Moka was a wonderful surprise. I hadn’t expected to like it as much as I do and although it isn’t my favourite toy by any means, it’s a solid vibrator with few flaws. It’s body-safe and well-made, with perhaps the only design issue being that some people don’t like the placement of the buttons (I don’t mind them). The silicone is wonderfully silky-smooth and the curvature, flat head and rigidity makes for a wonderful design for stimulating the G-spot.
The only real area for improvement is the vibrations as a little more punch always comes in handy, but I personally found the vibrations to go fairly deep and to range from ridiculously subtle to respectably strong. If you’re a power queen, this might not be enough for you, but I think most people would be satisfied.
What’s more, you can use Moka externally too, so it’s a great all-rounder. And if that’s not enough, it comes with a stupid phone charm too. What more could you ask for? The PicoBong Moka is available now at SexToysUK. ♦