♦ The Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit is an electric stimulation (or e-stim) kit intended for beginners, which is sold by UberKinky. This device sends small shocks through your body to ease muscle pain and, for some people, provide sexual pleasure. I’d never tried one before and (aside from a violet wand which is a different sensation altogether) I’m also new to electro sex, so I had no idea if I’d be “some people”.
But it turns out that that is pretty much exactly one of the things this kit is great for: if you don’t know if you like electric stimulation, you can try it out with minimal potential wasted time and money. Electro sex can be an expensive kink and the Shock Therapy Kit costs just £29.99, so it’s a great way to try a new experience on the cheap and work out if you’d enjoy something a bit more “professional” later.
The packaging is a sturdy box featuring typical Fetish Fantasy fare, i.e. the front shows another contender for the title of World’s Porniest Toy Package Woman. To be fair, I’m probably just jealous of her globular mammaries, her mulleted partner and the way her eye shadow matches her hair… In any case, a fairly convenient box, but super unsubtle and tacky.
Inside the box is a plastic insert containing the Shock Therapy Kit itself and – Oh, sweet, free mask! Friggin’ masks, Ishizu! Seriously, though, the mask is awful, please stop packaging all your stuff with awful (free!) masks. Anyway, the kit itself consists of very lightweight control unit, four adhesive pads, one bi-polar lead wire and the instruction manual.
The instruction manual for the Shock Therapy kit is a bit of a joke. It covers information that should be obvious to anyone alive in this decade, such as the troubleshooting (make sure the wires are actually attached to things). Then, on the other hand, I feel like it’s missing a lot of information. For example, it has minimal safety advice and absolutely NO advice whatsoever on different places to attach the pads. I got a couple of unpleasant shocks from trying the pads in the wrong locations and it’s also very easy to accidentally zap yourself fairly shockingly in the fingers if you try to adjust or re-stick the pads during use. Considering that I feel most people who use this kit will have no experience with electro sex, the instructions could have done with being a more comprehensive guide. That said, if that’s the only thing stopping you from buying this kit, don’t panic, there’s a wealth of information easily available online about what and how to do.
The instruction manual explains the three main modes of the Shock Therapy Kit too (Tap, Modulation and Kneading) along with a brief explanation of what they do. Tap feels like the shock from touching a lightweight electric fence: a short throb of electricity that does feel a bit like a mini-thump on the body. Modulation feels like a mobile phone on vibrate and Kneading is about the same, but for longer periods with bigger gaps. But it completely fails to mention the fact that there are a good half dozen modes after this that correspond to where you’ve put the pads (so there’s a “knees” mode or an “arms” mode). These are pretty incomprehensible even in use.
The “easy-to-read” LCD screen that “clearly displays” information is also vague in parts. I understand the bars for speed and power, but some of the things it displays in the top middle of the screen don’t seem to match what it’s actually doing. It’s all a bit opaque.
Onto the Shock Therapy device itself. There are four buttons: one turns the device ON and increases the settings, one turns the device OFF and decreases them, one is labelled “S/P” and switches what you are increasing or decreasing between speed (rapidity of pulses) and power (intensity of pulses) and one that cycles through the e-stim modes.
The control unit connects to the bi-polar wire via a jack and the wire then splits out into two Ys, each with a sort of popper on the end that attaches to one of the adhesive pads. These pads are covered in a plastic film to keep them sticky and protect them from dirt. Once you’ve removed those, you place each pad on the body. All four need to be attached for it to work.
The pads are very sticky indeed (but leave no residue). However, they quickly lose their stickiness, unless you’re very careful, under attack from oils, sweat, lint or dirt. (While we’re on that note, don’t lose the plastic film and don’t share your pads as they can’t be sanitised). Mine have gone from very sticky to kinda sticky in about half a dozen uses, but I’m not the most careful of owners. If you want yours to last a long time, be extra clean and extra careful. Oh, and possibly not so hairy? I fucked my pads up royally in terms of crap-levels with just the trimmed hair of my vulva. Smooth body parts work best.
Flat ones too. I couldn’t use it on my nipples (like the box shows) as the pads really need flat, even contact with the skin to conduct the electricity, so the Shock Therapy Kit wouldn’t even start. Too bumpy. I settled for a pad either side of my nipples, but that just shocked my breasts and left the nipples alone.
It did feel very nice, though, especially when coming, even if I couldn’t turn it up much past power two or three. Yup, it turns out that even though it runs on two AAA batteries, it has a hell of a kick. I’d offered to review the kit expecting it to be pretty pathetic with just that powering it, but I was seriously impressed. Not only was I impressed, but my kinkster housemate Alt was very impressed too and he’s tried a “real” electro sex kit, that is to say one that costs significantly more and doesn’t run off triple As. We both feel that, in terms of power, this kit will certainly satisfy all but the more experienced electro-experts.
The Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit is a troubled beast. On the one hand it’s a little confusing with its lack of information on suggested electrode locations, its sometimes confusing LCD and the fact that I often don’t quite know what it’s up to. I really think all of these problems could actually just be solved with a longer and more detailed instruction guide. On the other hand, it’s reasonably priced, simple to actually operate and attach and capable of delivering very strong electronic pulses and shocks. Not only that, but it’s dual use: the kit can be used sexually (I loved masturbating with it tingling my breasts), but also therapeutically (it felt lovely buzzing away on my tired shoulder and neck muscles).
I think that, poor instructions and level of detail aside, it’s a really great little kit. It’s cheap and powerful and probably the best way (besides knowing someone who’ll do you a demo) to get an entry level start in e-stimulation and electro sex. You can try it out for little money and effort and you’ll soon know if you like it or want something more involved, especially if you couple it with freely available information on the Net to make up for what the instructions don’t provide. So, if you’re curious about electro sex, I’d say give the Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit from UberKinky a whirl. ♦