Lamourose Rosa Rouge 8/10

I’m just going to go ahead and admit that this really is the wrong time of year to be posting a review of a self-heating vibrator. Right now I’m sat naked in my living-room with two fans pointed at me, feeling a lot like I’ve accidentally been cast in some really weird playboy photo shoot. With my hair blowing around and a glowing sheen to my skin that might actually be a thin layer of sweat. The last thing I want right now is a vibrator that’s going to add to the onslaught of heat my body is currently enduring. But bear with me and I’ll paint you a picture of how life should be with a heated vibrator.

Imagine a cold winter night, you’ve forgone the warmth of the crackling living room fire for the comfort of your bed. Only it’s cold and wrapped in your fortress of blankets you can barely muster the courage to expose one arm long enough reach for a vibrator. But then you remember that you own the Rosa Rouge and you think about those trademark Lamourose rumbles, and the warmth, the sweet toasty warmth,it provides and you know that your genitals will thank you for it.

That’s better. Now let me officially introduce you to the Lamourose Rosa Rouge, the Heated version of the Rosa. If you’ve heard of the company Lamourose before you’ve probably heard about their wonderfully rumbly motors that are housed in ludicrously luxurious products. Whilst I think they are ALL too god-damn-expensive (bear in mind that I’m a very poor person and I grumble a heck of a lot about product price) I haven’t yet tried a Lamourose product that’s disappointed me.

The Rosa Rouge comes in the usual ostentatious Lamourose packaging, colour matched outer card box, solid luxurious inner black box (that opens the wrong way up – in my opinion). As well as the red (almost pink) G-spot vibrator you’ll find a matching charging dock base, a sachet of intimate moisturizer (WATER-BASED LUBE – was that really so difficult to say?), a warranty card and a storage pouch.

I already own the Denia (the dual stimulating sister of the Rosa), so I knew I was going to get silky smooth silicone, a G-spot precise shaft and three buttons on the side of the base that I will always totally struggle to use whilst the vibrator is inserted. There’s some flex in shaft but like the Denia its generally quite firm. The base is solid plastic and sits neatly into its matching charging dock.

The Rosa Rouge takes around 2-3 hours to charge and the middle button light will pulse slowly to show that its charging. This Magnetic charging method allows for a completely water tight unit, so no washing worries, and if you really want to take your toy in the shower or the bath have no fear!

Holding the + button turns the Rosa Rouge on, using the same button will increase the strength of the vibrations, from 1 to 12 the vibrations are super strong and very rumbly. I like to sit at about 7 but honestly its hard to differentiate between each increase as they graduate quite gently. You can use the – button to decrease the strength, much handier I think than cycling through them all to get back to where you want to be!

The middle button changes the pattern, there are 9 of these and I never ever remember to use them. I do think its great that unlike other vibrators you can control the strength of the patterns too, as the more common ‘cycle through’ systems dont allow for this. The base motor is supposed to reach your clitoris while the Rosa Rouge is inserted, for me it doesn’t and the vibrations feel sub par compared to the shaft.

Now this is the first specifically G-spot orientated vibrator I’ve owned and I have to say I’ve learnt something quite surprising about my self, I way prefer movement over vibrations when it comes to my G-spot. This is a me issue and not a Rosa issue and I now use the Rosa clitorally and love it, I lay the front of the bulky part of the shaft across my entire vulva with the underside nook of the shaft hooked under my clit. This makes for fantastic overall stimulation especially of my vaginal opening whilst still being able to add pressure directly beneath my clit.

So the heat up function (that makes this a Rosa Rouge and not just a Rosa) is automatically turned on when the vibrator turns on (hold the middle button if you want to switch it off). It takes ruffly 3-5 minutes to get to temperature and is certainly noticeably warm. In fact I would say it perfectly manages to be very warm without being HOT. Which is nice because other than a few hardcore fetishists I don’t think anybody wants to be scalding their genitals.

But is the warmth pleasurable? Well, I can’t say I’ve ever looked at a radiator, hot water bottle or mug of hot chocolate and thought to myself man I wish I could hump that. But yes it does add to sensations in a good way although its certainly not orgasmic in its own right. I don’t like the heat so much internally, I’ve noticed lube dries out very quickly due to the warmth and I feel like the same thing happens internally. My clit however loves the warmth.

I’ve always wanted one of those ceramic dildos that you could fill up, like a hot water bottle for your Vagina. But the idea of getting out of the safety of my bed, walking across an icy laminate floor, putting the kettle on, waiting almost 3 minutes longer than the kettles 60 second boil promise, filling the dildo, adding some cold so I don’t scold myself, and finally crawling back to bed in order to use it, just seemed far too much effort. The Rosa simplifies all that to the press of a button. Simply put; it appeals to my lazy.

Now is it worth paying an extra forty-ish pounds for the heat up element of the Rouge version? I’m not sure. My main issue with the Rosa Rouge is that I orgasm clitorally (My favourite way to use the Rosa) faster than it takes to warm up. So I almost never actually feel the full heat before I’m switching it off and I’m left feeling like I might as well just own the standard Rosa.

Overall the Rosa Rouge is a fantastically well made, functional vibrator with amazing vibration strength and plenty of rumble, yet I rarely use it the way it was intended! Is it worth well over £150? Not to me but I personally think all the Lamourose vibrators are too expensive. I know you’re paying for luxury and quality here so that certainly softens the blow, but it makes me sad that so many people are completely priced out of owning a decent vibrator.