I was a fuckwad as a teenager and I vehemently HATED the idea of anal sex. I think in part it stemmed from my weak stomach over anything remotely ‘icky’ but I was also pig-headed and soaked up a lot of common misconceptions. I could often be found spouting off ignorant and dismissive comments like “That’s an exit hole not an entrance hole.” and “I’m not stretching my anus – I don’t want to end up shitting all over the place.”
Well it’s safe to say I’ve grown up a lot since then but up until very recently anal has still held zero appeal for me. I have now started a relationship with someone I feel superbly compatible, comfortable and therefor adventurous with. My feelings surrounding anal have changed from disgust to indifference and from indifference to intrigue.
One fateful 69 later and I found myself with Chris’s balls in my mouth, staring at his neatly shaven and perfectly clean bum hole. I was spellbound… (I jest) but seriously I couldn’t help but wonder if it was so tidy because he was inviting me back there. So I removed his balls from my mouth – Artfully of course, and started to kiss and lick his perineum. I gauged his reaction and spurred on by his ridiculously hawt moans, my tongue got ever closer to an area that my three-years-ago-self would have fainted at the mere mention of. And that’s pretty much the story of how I gave my first rim job and FUCKING LOVED IT.
Since then my boyfriend has kindly allowed me free reign over his butthole and for almost a year I have lived vicariously through him. Curiously inserting fingers, buying toys, even receiving review toys that all inevitably ended up in HIS bum. It’s been a huge learning curve for both of us but it’s been so nice to have those ‘firsts’ together as a couple.
My curiosity has grown tenfold, when I watch him writhe and moan and quiver I can’t help but wish I could switch places with him. I want to feel what he feels. I want to buy cute jewelled butt plugs and then wave my cute bejewelled butt at him. I want to play with anal beads and feel that distinct ‘pop’, I want to buy little Tantus dildos, try anal sex and maybe even double-penetration.
Unfortunately I have an arsey arse. After some trauma from an EX who thought mid-sex he could just switch holes and everything would be wonderful and nobody would skip a beat whilst he fucked me in the ass instead of the pre-agreed hole that is my vagina. A few long minutes of relentless pushing on his behalf (and many disgruntled swear words on mine) later and I was left angry and in pain, whilst he made out it was all “Just a joke babe!” A later doctor’s visit confirmed I had an anal tear. I suffered countless problems for a year following the incident and didn’t tell a soul.
Fortunately my problems have healed, but they’ve certainly left their mark, I brought myself a teeny butt plug but no matter how much lube I slathered on it my arse didn’t want to know. Another attempt left me bleeding as I re-tore part of the original injury. I’ve obsessed over weather I’ll ever get to feel my current boyfriends cock in my ass or if I should just give up on the whole idea forever.
I want so badly to explore this part of me, I’m curious by nature and I know that leaving this stone unturned will bug me till I’m 90 and the only action I’ve seen is the occasional enema. As always though I spoke to Chris about my issues, letting him know my desires and my concerns. A few months later, after an hour-long-finger-a-thon in which I was a totally relaxed, blissed out, orgasm-weak mess I brought it up again. Always eager to help he whispered a promise to be careful, and his fingers trailed off in search of a new playground.
Theres certainly something about butt stuff that is way WAY more intense than I could ever have imagined. For now the line between pleasure and OH GOD IT FEELS LIKE I’M SHITTING BACKARDS is a blurry one but I’m hoping that will change in time. I’ve also still not managed to insert any of the tiny plugs I have now amassed. I’m determined though, I know that they key to this is to RELAX, TAKE IT SLOWLY AND USE A FUCK-TON OF LUBE. Soon I’ll have conquered my first sex toy anally and one day I’ll conquer Chris’s gargantuan cock too. Expect many proud-face tweets when it happens.