Finally, I own a Stronic Eins to the party years late. Oh, how long I’ve been looking for this day! Dreamed of the strength and skill in the most creative development of the fun factory and imagined the waves of squirting enjoyment that would certainly overwhelm me. This is a hand held toy that inside you thrusts (or shakes more aptly), an idea that excites me on a variety of levels.
There have been very few toys I’ve been obsessed with over the Eins. Obsessing my toy often involves hours of studies, looking at pictures doe-eyed and sleuthing around at the highest cost. With pennies saved, (who should eat anyway?) often for months or even years before you can lastly click Add to Basket.
I read review after review and look at them jealously as more and more bloggers add to their collections my prospective’ Holy Grail ‘ sex toys. Because of my vacant savings account and a landlord who insists I pay my rent, it’s always behind the trend. I’m telling myself that this next toy is going to be the one I need. That I will come so much to enjoy it that just looking at it leaves my knickers in need of wringinging out.
However, the sad reality is that the We-vibe Tango is the only toy that has lived up to the hype around it. The larger trend is unfortunately that the most coveted toys have the furthest to fall, and worryingly I put it on the greatest pedestals for the Stronic Eins.
* ** The Stronic’s body has a very easy design, particularly for Fun Factory, which has a crazy catalog of swirly, pronged and sparkling creations. With just three strong buttons and two magnetic charging pins at the base, the handle is soft plastic. The shaft is silicone of medical grade, has the slightest bend forward for stimulation of the G-spot and a large bump near the base. I have my doubts that the latter should be a’ clitoral nub’ that Fun Factory seems to like to add to their toys, perhaps somebody should demonstrate them where the clitoris is?
My one HUUUUUGE peeve is the silicone with all the Fun Factory toys. Yes, I’m chuffed that it’s medical grade, but that doesn’t mean I want to leave the impression of my vagina as if it was sandpapered. There’s so much drag on the Eins that to the touch it’s almost grainy! To be honest, if there’s one toy that I want to be as smooth as possible, it’s the one that’s about to shake mechanically back and forth within me like an industrial table sander.
Most of the insertion is simple enough after solving the drag problem with a lot of dense lube (I use sliquid sassy to tame this specific beast). Thanks to the slim-ish shaft and tapered tip of the Eins, almost entirely.
The pattern design and how you cycle through them is a little strange. I won’t try to explain it because it’s bleugh… but basically there are ten settings. The constant one on which you begin, three quicker and then six fancy oscillating patterns. I’m going to say that if you accidentally skip past it, you can quickly get back to the one you want.
How far has the Stronic Eins dropped now that it was truly familiar with my vagina? Not to the extent that you might believe. I certainly haven’t found my Holy Grail in the Eins, but the same can be said for every single toy in my collection, and my erogenous zones are just too god-damn picky to win their hearts.
So, how’s that feeling? Not half that bad. That is, not as fantastic as I had expected it would be, but effective and pleasurable at the same time. The Eins shakes within me effectively back and forth–provided that I do not hold the handle too strongly or grip hard. The feeling is deliciously thuddy when it’s actually doing its thing, but I can’t help wishing the motions were deeper. I would say, at most, that the Stronic Eins moves back and forth about 2 cm. Whereas if I was masturbating with a dildo I would likely move it in and out a few inches at least.
For me, the thrusting of the Stronic is hit and miss, it may be lacking in the depth of its strokes, but it still packs a quite remarkable punch. It is not necessary to scoff at the velocity and force behind the shaking shaft and even the patterns feel fairly damn good (if not better than the constant environments). I might have to angle the handle to get the tip to hit my G-spot fairly dramatically, but when it does, it’s difficult to overlook.
This is the first toy with a engine that I really liked to use internally. I’m notoriously overwhelmed by vibrations inside me, so the Eins provides a motorized stimulation that doesn’t result in boredom and is, at its best, a rumbly-thud-machine that I’m happy to have inside me. When I catch my G-spot in the correct mood, the Eins can be quite sensational and with any luck I can experience a rather messy squirting session. Thank God that my clothes are waterproof (and this toy)! Sadly, another session is not going as well and I feel underwhelmed. Despite my fantasies, this isn’t a hand-held fucking machine and it can’t offer my partner and his dick’s lengthy delicious strokes as well.
* ** It’s not like someone fucking you at all and you can’t really keep up with the depth of a nice masturbation dildo. So why am I still collecting it? I’m a lazy person. I said it there, and it’s true to goddamn… at least when it comes to jacking off. I suffer from depression and, together with a severe depletion of my libido, it makes the concept of masturbation look really tedious. It sounds bad, but if I know I’m going to have to twist my wrist at an awkward angle and repeatedly thrust a dildo into my vagina twenty minutes before perhaps reaching climax, I probably won’t bother. But if for me, something like the Eins, I have something to do the thrusting, I might just feel like a potential orgasm worth the effort.
When I think back to other toys that I tried like the Bouncer that I likely would have liked ten billion times more if I had to do some thrusting / jiggling for me, it’s evident that the Stronic would always be a hit with me. It does the job and all I need to do is hold the handle so it doesn’t jackhammer out. I appreciate it (mostly) and sometimes it even makes me squirt when the planets align right.
At Lovehoney, you can buy the Fun Factory Stronic Eins for £ 139.99 (approximately $180.32 or $158.18).