Disclaimer: In return for my honest review, Lovehoney supplied me with a free Fun Factory Stronic Eins. Click any image to embiggen.
Stronic Eins, produced by the German manufacturer of interesting and colorful sex objects Fun Factory and marketed by Lovehoney, is a toy whose veryname (at least to me) conjures pictures of lasers, tanks, spacecraft and German industrial metal. You do it a disservice if you call it the Stronic One. Because it sounds awesome to Stronic Eins.
The Stronic Eins charger is marketed individually, which is a bit of a pain, but it works with all Fun Factory toys, so you’ll only ever need one charger, which is both a boon to the environment and a local cable tidy supply.
Incidentally, it costs for about two hours of play for two to three hours and does so via a small magnetic port at the base. If you’re used to the We-Vibe Tango or Salsa magnetic charger, don’t worry, it’s much stronger and more likely than that to remain in location. It also makes the Stronic, which is ace, waterproof.
The Stronic Eins can be used very easily. The large, red FUN button turns on and off the toy and you’re using+ and –to cycle through the different modes.
Because unless you press the FUN button for about a second or so, it does come with a travel lock function. It also turns off immediately when pressing the FUN button, making it discreetly useful.
The Stronic Eins is produced from an exceptionally matte layer of body-safe silicone. It really picks up dust, but not so much dirt and hair, and that’s why it’s very difficult to maintain clean. It feels like a rubber (or eraser, if you’re from “forn parts,” as Nanny Ogg would say) and you don’t feel that good to stroke that way. The micro-texture may put some off, but during use I couldn’t feel it. The handle is produced of plastic from ABS.
The toy is 9′′ lengthy, insertable with 5′′. Diameter-wise, it’s 1.3′′ at the tip, 1.6′′ at the shaft’s bulk, and then 1.8′′ at the so-called “clitoral stimulator,” the efficient base of the insertable segment. Pure silicone is the first inch and a half of the shaft from the tip, then the remainder is silicone over a tough shell. This makes the toy tip very flexible and beautifully squishable.
The Stronic Eins ‘ shape is, I think, the mark of a toy that all the time wishes to please all the individuals. The handle is ergonomic with a slight downward curve towards the end to fit the grip (and here helps the slightly matte plastic). But it’s the shaft that confuses me. Let’s get it out of the way: this thing won’t stimulate your clitoris, whether you call the additional inch or so of silicone a “clitoral stimulator” or not at the bottom of the insertable part. Everyone understands the reality, as Epiphora suggests. On the plus side, it doesn’t get in the manner of my ever more obsessive use of Tango because it gets nowhere close my clitoris.
It’s also a toy focused on pulsating and yet I’ve seen several locations pointing out that it “curves slightly at the tip so it’s completely equipped to boost your G-spot.” And it curves at the tip, but it’s so shallow that if it touches my G-spot, I’m buggered. And that flexible tip implies that even if it could discover mine, it would be particularly ineffective at G-spot pressure.
The curves look beautiful and the bump is harmless, they do nothing. Fortunately, I don’t think that’s what you buy when you buy the Stronic Eins. What you buy is an incredible new technology which makes your “vibrator” a “pulsator.” You buy a toy that thrusts: a toy that operates because it has inside a weight system that moves back and forth physically, rather than the usual rotating engine.
(Please forgive the first 30 secs of this video, some strange warp filter has been used accidentally. A fix will come when I get back to my PC) The Fun Factory Stronic Eins comes with ten distinct modes. You are on a low continuous back and forth when you switch it on, and pressing + will bring you to three quicker variants of the same thing. Past these are the “dynamic” modes: three distinct blended pattern and velocity variants. If you click–you get the three “algorithmic” modes from your starting point instead of+, which Crush (my resident maths expert) points out in this context implies basically nothing. What they are are kind of jerky versions of the constant back and forth, reducing in velocity, with a very determined thud-thud being the last mode in this direction. All modes are amazingly silent.
My first feeling when I turned on the Stronic Eins in my hands was: wow. This is, no joke, moving back and forth my forearm. You can feel the weight thrusting in it and it looks and feels like it has a life of its own (in a kind of “steam phallus”).
My first impression when I first used the Stronic Eins was: I don’t even. I haven’t got it, I didn’t understand what to do with it. Maybe not having the manual (my tester model came alone without packaging) was an inconvenience here (although I’ve seen most manuals, I doubt it’s that informative), but I just didn’t seem to understand how to use the Stronic to get the most out of it. What depth is there? Which angle? How business is it to maintain?
I had an epiphany on the second use. It felt so good.
I think the Fun Factory Stronic Eins works much better if you’re holding it relatively loose and letting it do its thing, rather than holding on to it tightly and forcefully, as I often do with my dildos. I usually like strength and pressure, so I’ve tried shoveling the thing inside of me, but it works much more satisfying when it can move as it wishes. At first, if you manage your toys the way I do, it’s a little counter-intuitive, but it works much better. I was overjoyed and believed I was going to crack it.
Unfortunately, I lost that spark again on subsequent uses. I’m still loosely holding it, experimenting with different modes and angles, but it just doesn’t seem to be much. My Stronic Eins pleasure is mercurial, fleeting. I often discover it feels “quite good” instead of”[ incomprehensible moaning noise].”
There are methods that I prefer: the first mode as you switch it on, the very quick continuous mode and the very last “algorithmic” mode, the one that is the jerky-thud-thud, but it’s an orgasm trial. It feels more like something is shaking inside me than thrusting and its “pulsating” doesn’t have nearly enough depth, not enough inside and out. I discovered it very nice when I thrust it like a ordinary dildo, but it’s a thrusting dildo, I’m not supposed to have to do it myself! This is not the point!
Heck, I even heard one or two sources call the Stronic Eins “life-like” and the “true thing” extremely close. It’s simply not true. (That’s not to say that I need my toys to pretend to be a penis, I just make a difference.) If that’s how your lover fucks you, you might want to verify that they’re not the Judderman. It’s not moving like a cock or dildo or strap-on in real life, it’s shuddering. It moves like a pneumatic drill, not in a “poor metaphor of eroticism.”
CONCLUSION
Watch out for the Stronic Eins, my dear, when the moon is fat… that is, look, it’s produced of excellent stuff by a great quality business with a good interface. The technology is new, the technology is amazing and brilliant, and I really want great things to go on for it. I’m just not sure that a wonderful thing is the Stronic Eins itself.
There are several reviews that love this toy out there. You may enjoy this toy yourself. I don’t, though. Sometimes it feels very good, sometimes it feels totally meh, it always feels exciting and it feels pretty nice mostly. For “quite nice,” I don’t masturbate. I just don’t seem to hate or appreciate the Stronic.
I’m going to borrow something I said in my Lovehoney Sqweel 2 review here: “I want to love it because it offers me something really distinct from my usual fare, but it’s too unreliable for me.” It’s very exciting and I’m happy to have tried it, but if I had spent all my own cash on it, I would be so angry. Buy it now from Lovehoney if you have cash to spare and you’re desperate for a fresh feeling or you’re actually riding something that shudders like me seeing a jelly toy. Otherwise you’re probably going to want to miss this one.