Fun Factory Stronic Eins Review

Fun Factory Stronic Eins

Disclaimer: In return for my honest review, Lovehoney supplied me with a free Fun Factory Stronic Eins. Click any image to embiggen.

Stronic Eins, produced by the German manufacturer of interesting and colorful sex objects Fun Factory and marketed by Lovehoney, is a toy whose veryname (at least to me) conjures pictures of lasers, tanks, spacecraft and German industrial metal. You do it a disservice if you call it the Stronic One. Because it sounds awesome to Stronic Eins.

Fun Factory Stronic Eins
Fun Factory Stronic Eins

The Stronic Eins charger is marketed individually, which is a bit of a pain, but it works with all Fun Factory toys, so you’ll only ever need one charger, which is both a boon to the environment and a local cable tidy supply.

Incidentally, it costs for about two hours of play for two to three hours and does so via a small magnetic port at the base. If you’re used to the We-Vibe Tango or Salsa magnetic charger, don’t worry, it’s much stronger and more likely than that to remain in location. It also makes the Stronic, which is ace, waterproof.

The Stronic Eins can be used very easily. The large, red FUN button turns on and off the toy and you’re using+ and –to cycle through the different modes.

Because unless you press the FUN button for about a second or so, it does come with a travel lock function. It also turns off immediately when pressing the FUN button, making it discreetly useful.

The Stronic Eins is produced from an exceptionally matte layer of body-safe silicone. It really picks up dust, but not so much dirt and hair, and that’s why it’s very difficult to maintain clean. It feels like a rubber (or eraser, if you’re from “forn parts,” as Nanny Ogg would say) and you don’t feel that good to stroke that way. The micro-texture may put some off, but during use I couldn’t feel it. The handle is produced of plastic from ABS.

The toy is 9′′ lengthy, insertable with 5′′. Diameter-wise, it’s 1.3′′ at the tip, 1.6′′ at the shaft’s bulk, and then 1.8′′ at the so-called “clitoral stimulator,” the efficient base of the insertable segment. Pure silicone is the first inch and a half of the shaft from the tip, then the remainder is silicone over a tough shell. This makes the toy tip very flexible and beautifully squishable.

The Stronic Eins ‘ shape is, I think, the mark of a toy that all the time wishes to please all the individuals. The handle is ergonomic with a slight downward curve towards the end to fit the grip (and here helps the slightly matte plastic). But it’s the shaft that confuses me. Let’s get it out of the way: this thing won’t stimulate your clitoris, whether you call the additional inch or so of silicone a “clitoral stimulator” or not at the bottom of the insertable part. Everyone understands the reality, as Epiphora suggests. On the plus side, it doesn’t get in the manner of my ever more obsessive use of Tango because it gets nowhere close my clitoris.

It’s also a toy focused on pulsating and yet I’ve seen several locations pointing out that it “curves slightly at the tip so it’s completely equipped to boost your G-spot.” And it curves at the tip, but it’s so shallow that if it touches my G-spot, I’m buggered. And that flexible tip implies that even if it could discover mine, it would be particularly ineffective at G-spot pressure.

The curves look beautiful and the bump is harmless, they do nothing. Fortunately, I don’t think that’s what you buy when you buy the Stronic Eins. What you buy is an incredible new technology which makes your “vibrator” a “pulsator.” You buy a toy that thrusts: a toy that operates because it has inside a weight system that moves back and forth physically, rather than the usual rotating engine.

(Please forgive the first 30 secs of this video, some strange warp filter has been used accidentally. A fix will come when I get back to my PC) The Fun Factory Stronic Eins comes with ten distinct modes. You are on a low continuous back and forth when you switch it on, and pressing + will bring you to three quicker variants of the same thing. Past these are the “dynamic” modes: three distinct blended pattern and velocity variants. If you click–you get the three “algorithmic” modes from your starting point instead of+, which Crush (my resident maths expert) points out in this context implies basically nothing. What they are are kind of jerky versions of the constant back and forth, reducing in velocity, with a very determined thud-thud being the last mode in this direction. All modes are amazingly silent.

My first feeling when I turned on the Stronic Eins in my hands was: wow. This is, no joke, moving back and forth my forearm. You can feel the weight thrusting in it and it looks and feels like it has a life of its own (in a kind of “steam phallus”).

My first impression when I first used the Stronic Eins was: I don’t even. I haven’t got it, I didn’t understand what to do with it. Maybe not having the manual (my tester model came alone without packaging) was an inconvenience here (although I’ve seen most manuals, I doubt it’s that informative), but I just didn’t seem to understand how to use the Stronic to get the most out of it. What depth is there? Which angle? How business is it to maintain?

I had an epiphany on the second use. It felt so good.

I think the Fun Factory Stronic Eins works much better if you’re holding it relatively loose and letting it do its thing, rather than holding on to it tightly and forcefully, as I often do with my dildos. I usually like strength and pressure, so I’ve tried shoveling the thing inside of me, but it works much more satisfying when it can move as it wishes. At first, if you manage your toys the way I do, it’s a little counter-intuitive, but it works much better. I was overjoyed and believed I was going to crack it.

Unfortunately, I lost that spark again on subsequent uses. I’m still loosely holding it, experimenting with different modes and angles, but it just doesn’t seem to be much. My Stronic Eins pleasure is mercurial, fleeting. I often discover it feels “quite good” instead of”[ incomprehensible moaning noise].”

There are methods that I prefer: the first mode as you switch it on, the very quick continuous mode and the very last “algorithmic” mode, the one that is the jerky-thud-thud, but it’s an orgasm trial. It feels more like something is shaking inside me than thrusting and its “pulsating” doesn’t have nearly enough depth, not enough inside and out. I discovered it very nice when I thrust it like a ordinary dildo, but it’s a thrusting dildo, I’m not supposed to have to do it myself! This is not the point!

Heck, I even heard one or two sources call the Stronic Eins “life-like” and the “true thing” extremely close. It’s simply not true. (That’s not to say that I need my toys to pretend to be a penis, I just make a difference.) If that’s how your lover fucks you, you might want to verify that they’re not the Judderman. It’s not moving like a cock or dildo or strap-on in real life, it’s shuddering. It moves like a pneumatic drill, not in a “poor metaphor of eroticism.”

CONCLUSION

Watch out for the Stronic Eins, my dear, when the moon is fat… that is, look, it’s produced of excellent stuff by a great quality business with a good interface. The technology is new, the technology is amazing and brilliant, and I really want great things to go on for it. I’m just not sure that a wonderful thing is the Stronic Eins itself.

There are several reviews that love this toy out there. You may enjoy this toy yourself. I don’t, though. Sometimes it feels very good, sometimes it feels totally meh, it always feels exciting and it feels pretty nice mostly. For “quite nice,” I don’t masturbate. I just don’t seem to hate or appreciate the Stronic.

I’m going to borrow something I said in my Lovehoney Sqweel 2 review here: “I want to love it because it offers me something really distinct from my usual fare, but it’s too unreliable for me.” It’s very exciting and I’m happy to have tried it, but if I had spent all my own cash on it, I would be so angry. Buy it now from Lovehoney if you have cash to spare and you’re desperate for a fresh feeling or you’re actually riding something that shudders like me seeing a jelly toy. Otherwise you’re probably going to want to miss this one.

Fairy Mini II Review

Disclaimer: In return for my honest evaluation, Vibrator Kingdom supplied me with a free Fairy Mini II Massager.

The Fairy Mini II Massager, produced by Merci Toys and marketed by Vibrator Kingdom, is a wand-style USB rechargeable vibrator from a family of cute wand vibrators, all of which have ridiculously comparable names. Mini, Mini II, Pocket Mini, Mini Mini? Jeez. Yup, that’s not at all confusing, thank you (or even thank you). Vibrator Kingdom offers the Fairy Mini II in a collection (but also separately) that involves a USB charging cable, a purple fabric storage case and two wall head attachments: the women’s “Kurikuri” and the men’s “Enema” (classy!).

The Fairy Mini II packaging is an omnipresent cardboard box with a view-through panel to demonstrate the toy. The back includes a wealth of toy data, mostly in Japanese but also in English, which makes this a great gift for Japanophiles and a bit confusing for non-Japanese speakers. The USB cable comes in a fairly simple cardboard box and the two attachments are with fancy labels in transparent plastic boxes.

The Fairy Mini II is Merci’s wireless version of the Lithium Ion Fairy Mini. It can be charged at the wall or via USB, but only the USB cable comes with the variant marketed by Vibrator Kingdom. I discover that preferable because my bedroom has very few plug-in sockets, but when I’m there my computer is fairly much on. The wand is 8′′ long and has a rounded head with a diameter of 1.75′′ ribbed on its profound sides of 1.75′′. The wand’s body is made of smooth, rubberized lateral ABS plastic and the head is silicone; the two are linked by a flexible neck. It’s not splashproof or waterproof, so be cautious how to clean it up. Only steam cloth, attempt to stick to the region of the head.

Aesthetically, the Fairy Mini II is genuinely the Hello Kitty microphone of sex toys with its white-n-pink body and an alarmingly cute logo. The handle is comfortable in an ergonomic way, the toy is light and the overall shape is simple to use.

By linking the charger to a port covered by a small rubber cover, the Fairy Mini II charges and there is a green charging light on the front that switches off when charging the toy. I understand that several reviewers reported that they had problems getting the wand to hold a charge, but for me this was mostly not a problem. The Fairy Mini II actually cut out after about 5-10 minutes after charging it for the first time (i.e. far too short), but I haven’t had a problem with keeping charge since then. However, it’s something to be aware of, and I’m going to say that I don’t find it holding charge quite long enough anyway.

Use a variable speed dial just above the charging light to turn the wand on. The dial turns readily and for excellent feedback is beautifully grooved, but the instructions were what I discovered really strange. If you use the toy as you would expect (head on your body and shaft pointing to your feet), you thumb the dial away from your head to power up and slow down to the head. I always forget that, because it seems to be so counter-intuitive. I’d move the wand away if I wished to go back off, so surely I’d have to pull the dial away in terms of vibration? It’s awful.

IN USE

They’re fairly powerful when it comes to vibrations (although they seemed much weaker at first use as well as early cutting). They’re not as strong as my Ideal wand, the only other wand I own, but they also don’t make my skin itch almost half the same. They’re still pretty damn buzzy though. And they’re certainly powerful enough I’m not just racing to the greatest environment as I do on many vibrators. There are actually sessions where I’m not even going to touch the highest strength because I just don’t need it or it would be too much.

Of course, the big advantage over my other wand, and any other two-speed wand like the Hitachi out there, is that the speed is variable and there are no set settings, so you can gradually dial up or down the force. You can discover the precise amount you’re satisfied with easily. If only one characteristic of this wand were to be praised, that would be it. This toy’s vibrations are powerful and work perfectly for me, but they’re not exactly what I’m looking for in a toy (rumblier is better) and the one thing this toy has about my other (rumblier) wand is the capacity to really customize my velocity.

The Fairy Mini II is strong, but it’s bloody loud as well. It’s about sound as discreet as it’s in its girliness tasteful and subtle. Listen to that, I mean. It’s very loud. Not just loud, but grating really. The reduced the velocity, the whiner it is; the greater the velocity, the more a pneumatic-drill can be channeled. Really, there is no respite. If discretion is high among your priority list, heck back now, even if discretion is on your priority list. What’s really cute is, as you can see at the beginning of the video, you can even turn it into a setting where it makes a high-pitched, god-awful whine, but it doesn’t actually do anything. Impressive.

Another downside to the toy arises in one of a nice wand’s primary characteristics: that neck and head’s flexibility. Yes, the neck is flexible, but I discovered that the Fairy Mini II had a depressing tendency to become softer and weaker and eventually stop directly (but maintain going with that catchy whine!) the more I bent my neck to get it to a decent angle. That’s a bad design.

THE ATTACHMENTS

The Fairy Mini II Massager set sold by Vibrator Kingdom features two wall head attachments: one for females and one for males.

Kurikuri is the female attachment and is best defined as a kind of bobbly-nobbly slightly scary-looking cup form that fits relatively neatly on the head of the Fairy Mini II and then cups the clitoris and labia. It looks incredibly medical, but you’ve got it there.

The Kurikuri left me cold at first, and I couldn’t really see the point in it. Subsequent uses have enhanced my feeling of it, but I am still somewhat doubtful. On the down side: it’s absurd, it’s rubber (as far as I can say) and it makes penetration in your game, which sucks, basically impossible to include. On the plus side: it’s less itchy and seemed to make the vibrations kind of reverberate around its internal surface and the cup’s little tail (which gets in the manner of dildos) was pushing inside me just enough to create some really great orgasms. Definitely it was a fun feeling.

Enema is the masculine attachment and has been a true pain in the arse to actually get on the wand’s head (no pun intended). It is intended to strike the prostate. I don’t have much to say about this one to be frank. I’m not a guy, and I hate vibrations the one I have. I’ve got an arse, but not a prostate, and I didn’t want to use rubber anally. On their G-spot, I heard a critic enjoy it, so I attempted it, but nada.

Fortunately, Vibrator Kingdom is also selling the Fairy Mini II alone for £ 15 less without the two attachments, so if you don’t enjoy the attachments, that’s an alternative.

CONCLUSION

The Fairy Mini II Massager is an omnipresent massage wand I’m not sure I can recommend, sadly. If you’re in that kind of thing, you’re going to enjoy the purple femininity and the shape is ergonomic, even though the vibrations really respond poorly to the head’s flex. The fact that the Fairy Mini II has a variable speed dial (even a counter-intuitive one) is really its greatest plus point and maybe the only reason I could return to this toy in the future.

The vibrations are strong for a wand, but they’re not stupidly strong, and they’re stupid, though they don’t make me itch a lot. However, they should be deeper and more rumbler. It’s whiny and irritatingly noisy and it seems to have some problems (load time and strength) that could either be gremlins of first-use or recurrent quality issues. They haven’t returned yet, but they could be as good as the ages of toys.

In any case, I would expect more from a wand vibrator like this for £ 65 (£ 50 without attachments). If you’re a real girly purple toy, you’re a wand collector or you can ignore the toy’s bugbears, maybe offer Vibrator Kingdom a try to the Fairy Mini II. But for me, it’s not something I’d be paying for now that I know what it’s like and that just means I can’t give it my approval seal. ♦

Doc Johnson Wonderland Pleasurepillar Review

Doc Johnson Wonderland Pleasurepillar

Disclaimer: In return for my frank review, Lovehoney supplied me with a free Doc Johnson Wonderland Pleasurepillar. YMMV. Click any image to embiggen.

The Doc Johnson Wonderland Pleasurepillar, sold by Lovehoney, is one of five vibrators in the fresh Wonderland range of Doc Johnson, based (as you might imagine) on Alice’s weird world in Wonderland. The personality of the Caterpillar is based on this specific mint-green vibrator. I enjoy all of Alice’s stuff in Wonderland, whether it’s based on the novel itself or just using that kind of quirky gothic style, so I wanted to try it out.

Doc Johnson Wonderland Pleasurepillar
Doc Johnson Wonderland Pleasurepillar

PACKAGING

Packaging is very impressive, especially for a business I usually don’t associate with sophistication. First, a soft, white cardboard sleeve with a fancy gold-colored lettering that shows a Pleasurepillar picture supported by a chessboard in the Wonderland style. There’s a white box with the beautiful gothic Doc Johnson Wonderland logo on it once you slip off this sleeve. The box’s top, bottom and right edge are intended to look like a book’s yellowed pages, and the box opens like one too, with a concealed magnet closed.

Inside, the Pleasurepillar is held opposite another gothic image in a flocked plastic insert that shows the five vibrators in the range of the Wonderland. Above this is a tiny quantity of blurb which also refers to the fact that each item in the range is made of body-safe silicone, has 10 functions and is waterproof. Sadly, this is the only product data that you really get apart from an extremely generic safety leaflet hidden behind the flocked insert, but the packaging is great apart from that. Classy, very real to the gothic style of Alice in Wonderland and quite luxurious in fact. I really enjoy it!

PLEASUREPILLAR

The Pleasurepillar on the battery cap is produced of ABS plastic and is made of silicone everywhere else, making it body-safe and non-porous. The plastic as well as the silicone are extremely smooth and silky, giving the toy a beautiful surface. The toy’s color really appealed to me too, with a nice shade of mint green. Unfortunately, however, there seemed to be some discoloration on mine, as the plastic cap and the silicone shaft were distinct but similar colors that really ruined the toy’s appearance.

The toy is5.4′′ long and approximately cylindrical, with three bulges along the shaft before curving into a small bulbous head. The shaft at the widest curve is 1.3′′ in diameter and 1′′ at the narrowest and the bulbous tip is an ellipse, approximately 1′′ by 1.25′′. It is waterproof and a single AA battery is required, but it is not provided.

The head shape is a kind of bulbous curve that resembles a thumb pad and is very well formed to rub over the clitoris. The tip’s smooth curve feels very pleasurable and works really well to circle around my clit and glide over my skin smoothly.

As for the shaft, from the last bulge upwards the toy is flexible, with no inner structure under the silicone. This makes for an exciting experience as although with the Pleasurepillar’s head you can apply a fair bit of pressure and accuracy, the shaft is given a fair bit.

The toy shaft’s caterpillar-like bulges are very vexing. Externally, they are pointless and internally they make it difficult to insert the toy and get a lot in the manner of moving it inside and back. That said, aside from the inconvenient bulges, this thing finds my G-spot rather well and stimulates it, although some may find the problem of flexibility off-putting.

VIBRATION

The Pleasurepillar is a vibrator that does quite a few good things, except that none of them is “a vibrator.” It’s pretty, it’s secure, it’s awesome, but it’s soft, buzzy, and awfully designed.

You click the button on the base once to switch it on to run the Pleasurepillar and then each time you want to modify the mode. You hold the button for two seconds to switch it off. It comes with 10 modes: 3 speeds and 7 patterns. I would therefore personally define the modes: (1)’ elevated’ speed, (2) medium velocity, (3) low velocity, (4) quick pulses, (5) quick pulses, (6) mildly slower pulses, (7) quick pulses that are almost indistinguishable from the first quick pulses, (8) tiny slow pulses, (9) large slow pulses and (10) pathetic clicks. But here’s a video that will probably be more useful… Do you think these patterns look the same? They’re also doing my clitoris. There are quite a few of them, sure, but at imperceptibly distinct speeds they are basically all distinct types of pulsing. Where is the ups and downs? The tidal wave? The rapid and slow variations? The point of patterns seems to me to be variety, and you just don’t get it here.

It’s a nice job the base softly lights up and also flicks with the patterns in time, otherwise I would scarcely understand the thing was bloody on. It’s fairly quiet (apparently quieter than the hum on the video of my camera), which is great if you’re in it, but louder than it’s powerful. And that’s because it’s awfully fragile. Buzzy as weak and hell.

I can’t really say enough to get this across here “buzzy as hell and terribly weak.” The vibrations bear appallingly and are stronger than a watch-battery bullet, and if in terms of strength you are badly compared to a watch-battery bullet, you can also give up. I honestly couldn’t tell you if it was on my clitoris on “pathetic flicker” mode. I can’t say it’s on any of the types or strengths when I use it on my G-spot and placed another vibrator on my clitoris. This is really a problem because although the Pleasurepillar does quite well in rubbing my G-spot (again, bulges aside), I can’t really feel the vibrations there. It may not be a vibrator as well. And if it may not be a vibrator as well, it may also be one of my dildos I own better-at-rubbing-my-G-spot-and-not-plagued-with-bulges.

Thing is, to make-any-goddamn-sense-whatsoever supporters, there are two things on the Pleasurepillar that are effectively worse than their weak velocity and they are both linked.

First, it’s back to that pattern and speed description. Have you noticed how the three speeds are going from top to bottom? I just hope you don’t appreciate slowly warming up through your toys ‘ energy levels, because if you do, you’ll discover yourself looping through every other mode to get the next velocity. Ridiculous. Of course, at the greatest velocity, I just bung fragile vibrators like this and hardly think I’m actually with the We-Vibe Tango, but it’s still incredibly dumb.

Secondly, when you turn it off, the way the vibrator operates and turn it on again. Look at this, more curious and curious! So what, the Pleasurepillar has a memory function (generally a feature that remembers which mode you were on when you turned off the toy and turned it on in the same mode), but it effectively remembers the mode you were on and then returns to the next series mode? Are you really shouting at me? It makes me want to tear out my hair, dear God! That’s just that dumb! That’s the worst thing it could do other than beginning on a completely random setting. I hope you don’t take any of the methods with a specific fancy, because if you switch off to get some lube or something and then come back to wanking, you’re going to have to go through every other mode to get to the one you used. Every. Frickin’. Time.

So when I bring it at the greatest velocity, switch it off to keep the battery while I grab a dildo and get back to it, it’s moving on and becoming weaker. And to get back to where I was, I have to press the button as fast as I can. And I hope I don’t rush past it by accident. Or throw the Pleasurepillar on a raging wall accidentally. Who created this? Would it have been SATAN?!

CONCLUSION

If nothing else in this review says you anything, attempt this: I’ve never been as upset with the Pleasurepillar as I’ve ever been. Even the distressing Doc Johnson 10X Power Bullet was fragile and rubbish. It’s weak, rubbish and unbelievably badly designed.

Good points: the packaging and the theme are beautiful and I really like the idea of literary-inspired toys (I hope the Wonderland will not put others off making more), the color is beautiful, the vibrator is made of decent body-safe materials and the head shape is really good.

Bad points: being a vibrator is anything to do with it, plus the irritating bulges.

Certainly, some individuals like gentle vibrations, but even if that’s what you’re after, there’s better toys for you out there than that. Toys that have an ounce of common sense. I know, I know, I should find it brilliantly appropriate and very dedicated that everything is topsy-turvy and nonsensical in this Wonderland-themed vibrator, but let’s face it: it wasn’t a nice literary node effort. Pure and simple, this is bad design. I want my vibrators to be powerful, ideally straightforward, simple to use and practical. None of these are the Pleasurepillar.

However, if you are still forced to purchase one, you can now pick up a Doc Johnson Wonderland Pleasurepillar from Lovehoney. Otherwise, I might have one thing to do if I haven’t cut off his head. ♦